Love is an eternal topic that seems to be everywhere in life. Whether it's the dramatic tales we read in novels or the everyday moments we experience, love always captivates us in its own unique way.

But for many, the true nature of love is often clouded by desires and fantasies. As Su Hei once said, most of the time, love is simply a reflection of an inner symptom—our projection of unmet needs and insecurities.

Life isn't just about love; it's about discovering our true selves through the process of love, understanding our deepest desires and fears.

The Mist of Love: A Journey of Self-Reflection

If someone asks you what love truly is, it could be a sign they are trying to find clarity, struggling to discover where their heart belongs. In this complex world, we all bring our desires and expectations into our relationships. However, sometimes, these projections can cause us to lose our way.

Think about your younger self twenty years ago—perhaps you longed for daily expressions of love from your partner. But if, two decades later, you're still seeking that same reassurance, it's worth questioning whether you've truly grown. Does this desire for constant affirmation mean that you haven't matured emotionally? Are you still stuck in the yearning for love, ignoring your own growth and changes?

In love, we should focus on asking ourselves, "What do I really want?" rather than obsessing over the abstract concept of "love." Many of us lose ourselves in relationships because our understanding of love is shallow, idealized, or unrealistic. We often fail to face our flaws and true needs. Take a moment to ask yourself—what does love mean to you? Do you want your partner to see you as the most important person in their life, or are you after physical intimacy? And more importantly, are these desires truly reasonable?

The Fantasy of Love: The Battle Between Imagination and Reality

In the realm of love, we often hold onto idealized fantasies about what our partners should be, while these expectations are more often rooted in a sense of disillusionment. We project our dreams and desires onto our partner, hoping they will meet our perfect standards. In many cases, our understanding of each other's feelings and intentions isn't authentic—it's simply a way to fill the emotional voids inside us.

For instance, we might want someone who listens to us, who shares every little detail of our lives. Yet, our expectations can be one-sided, failing to see the emotional struggles our partners may be going through. We set up an ideal blueprint for love, while forgetting that everyone has their own unique life experiences and emotional histories. Often, we aim to change our partner to match our vision, instead of accepting their imperfections.

The Productization of Love: The Cycle of Demand and Desire

Love, filled with desires and expectations, may not be as perfect as we think. Is it simply a convenient concept used to fill the voids inside us? Over years of counseling, Su Hei found that many people treat love as a need, a need that originates from inner confusion and insecurity. When our demands for love grow endlessly, love can become commodified—something that we feel entitled to and expect to receive. This only increases our anxiety.

Whether it's material satisfaction or emotional fulfillment, the outcome of love often leads to a sense of "unfulfilled longing," adding only frustration. Perhaps we once longed for passion and romance, but it's only in moments of struggle that we truly learn the real meaning of love.

Finding Growth Through Love

After many years of exploring relationships, many people have started to understand that the true meaning of love isn't about possession or ownership. Instead, love's true power lies in its ability to help us grow. We don't need to cling to a specific form of love, but rather we should focus on the growth we gain through each relationship.

Love is like a mirror, reflecting our inner selves. Through each relationship, we begin to understand what love really is and who we truly are. You might realize that the pain and confusion in life aren't completely separate from love—they are part of the same process, always pushing us to confront our innermost truths.

Therefore, it's important to ask ourselves a more fundamental question: Beyond love, what are we really seeking? What do we want to achieve? Through this reflection, we may begin to uncover the true meaning of love and approach future relationships with greater maturity and calm.

In this process of self-discovery, we can not only understand others better, but also reassess our own needs and growth. In a time where authenticity and courage are valued, let us find the most genuine life experience at the intersection of love and self-understanding. True love, the kind that nurtures growth, might just start from within—accepting both the flaws and the beauty in ourselves and in others, seeing our partner as a companion on our journey of growth rather than a mere emotional crutch.

What do you think, Lykkers? Have you experienced love as a path to growth, or perhaps a reflection of your needs? Let's chat about how we can approach love more authentically.